I used to wear big purses so I could hold them in front of me to "hide" my fat rolls. I still catch myself telling jokes and smiling eagerly at strangers, because nobody likes a bitchy fat girl right? I've ALWAYS been the funny girl...the girl with the pretty face...the optimistic girl.
I've said many times that one of the most painful emotional parts of being fat is NOT the way people look at you, it's the way people DON'T look at you.
In fact, it's like most strangers don't even consider you at all. I know what they were thinking. She's not competition. She's not a threat. She's not "hot". She's probably uneducated and obviously has no willpower. How many times have you thought to yourself or heard someone else say "just stop eating."
Let me tell you something, from someone who's been on both sides of the fence... IT'S NOT THAT EASY. There are so much more to a fat than simply eating too much. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I have a thyroid problem or that some medication made me gain weight. It's simply not the case for me. I ate every single calorie that led to every single pound I gained. Why? I can't really say for sure. Probably a combination of my insecurities and lack of self-esteem and a need for security. Probably my love for food and the fact that I was young and broke - that didn't help!
So how did I turn it around? First of all I strongly believe you have to hit a breaking point, or a rock bottom, or an "enough is enough." I don't know why mine didn't come at 200 lbs, or at 240 lbs - something about the number 258 just leveled me. Fighting through the physical and emotional challenges of losing 100 lbs doesn't happen overnight. As I've stated before, this is a process that has taken years and I'm still fighting today.
To the fat girls reading this right now, looking for answers, nodding your head in understanding, wondering where to start...just take the first step.
Don't worry about the rest right now. Pick something to commit to, make a plan, get support, set a goal, and execute. You will make mistakes, you might even fail miserably but that's ok. Do it anyway and then do it again. If you want to know more about how I set goals, how I got started and how I've fought my way through 100 lbs, check out this blog: Weight Loss FEQ
If you've ever struggled with weight, you know that it's not as easy as putting down the fork. I hope you know that you are not alone and no matter how far you have to go, you can do it.